Sweet Joanne

Joanne Farrell and I started kindergarten together in Lancaster, Massachusetts. We went to CCD together, we were in girl scouts together. We discovered boys and booze together. She was a pen pal when I moved to California our junior year in high school. She was a good friend of mine through all the ups and downs that childhood and adolescence brings about. 

Here we are being goof balls on our 8th grade class trip to Washington DC-

And all gussied up for our Senior Banquet dinner/dance- 

I went off to college and she went off to start her life- getting married to her high school sweetheart George Hauver from Clinton, the neighboring town. They soon had Aiden, and then a couple years later Sam. Sam is now 16 and Aiden is 19- and the last time I saw Joanne Sam was an infant, so it has been a very, very long time. But thanks to Facebook, she tracked me down in 2009 and we kept up with each other online. I knew she had gotten divorced, was a single mom, was battling MS (so young!), had recently found true love and was living in Colorado,  and she had decided to step off Facebook back in 2015. Then suddenly early 2018 I saw her reappear on FB- and she was bald... She was asking for some cute hats- so I hit the thrift store and put a box of hats in the mail right before Easter. And in the back of my mind, I made a mental note to reach out to her and reconnect, ask the hard questions about her health. 

But before I could do that, a GoFund Me page popped up on her FB page and this is what it read-

Joanne’s story is a familiar one to many people and their families.  A healthy person goes to the doctor because they’re feeling blah and finds out they have a major medical issue.   For Joanne this journey started while seeking answers to some of her symptoms back in 2010 while on vacation with her two boys Aiden and Sam.  After millions of tests and dead ends Joanne was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis, MS.  If you are not familiar with MS it is a terrible  disease that can affect your brain, spinal cord, and the optic nerves in your eyes.  It also can cause problems with vision, balance, muscle control and other basic bodily functions. In some cases people have very mild symptoms and may not even need immediate treatment.  But, in Joanne’s case it was the opposite.  In the beginning it was apparent MS was taking my friend away.  A once perfectly healthy person is now using a walker, having trouble seeing and is taking handfuls of medication.  Many of these medications are to help with the MS,  however they can also have brutal side effects.  At the time we thought that the MS was it.  We were wrong.  


Fast forward, past the endless doctors visits, injections, home treatments and hospital visits.  During a routine MRI for her MS something did not look right to the doctors.  The radiologist immediately had her neurologist in after more tests determined that Joanne had Lymphoma in her brain.   For anyone that is like me and only thinks about cancer in my nightmares, Lymphoma is a cancer that starts in the cells of the lymphatic system.  Basically, it’s as scary as it sounds.  Two weeks after finding out this scary news Joanne had started experiencing extreme head pain.  Her head pain was followed by fluid draining from a surgical site on her head.  Her doctors informed her that she had bacterial meningitis. The result was that she had to have another surgery where her head was reopened and then cleaned out.  With all of the surgical procedures, hospital stays and doctor visits it was becoming harder to keep up financially. As, I am sure you can all imagine. I wish I could tell you that this was the worst of it but that would not be the truth.  Even after all of the surgeries, chemotherapy, tests and doctors visits they then found a golf ball size tumor.  However, after going through all of that, she was diagnosed with pneumonia and they had to postpone the chemotherapy for months.  

Farrah here again. That was on May 7th, and I quickly made a donation, shared the heck out of that GoFund Me page,  and began praying, not really knowing what prognosis was, wishing I could do more. Then on May 15th very out of the blue, I received a FB message from Joanne's fiancé Mike- who I'd never ever met or corresponded with. This is what it read-

Hello Farrah I am very sorry but I have to share some bad news with you. Joanne’s health has took a turn for the worse. She asked me to send you a message. We are at the hospital now. The dr is giving her just days left. Possibly a few weeks with a radiation regime which she has decided on doing. Her eye sight is very bad right now so that’s why I am writing for her. But I can read any messages to her or you can call/FaceTime her.

 WHAT?!?!? Oh my goodness. I was filled with so many emotions. So tragic that someone my age was going to lose her life. But why me? I hadn't even seen Joanne in almost 19 years? Should I call? Could I handle the awkwardness of FaceTime with her? Then I thought, what if this was me? Damn right I'd be reaching out to everyone in my past. I'd love for them all to be courageous enough to chat with me too.

So I did it. I called. In fact- I FaceTimed her. Funny thing is- because of her poor eye sight, she hit the wrong button, so we couldn't see each other, just hear each other. And that was okay. God works in mysterious ways... And we talked! and talked! For almost 20 minutes, there wasn't a pause. And it was good.

I kept in touch with Mike and got weekly updates. Mike took care of her at home until she passed away on Friday, July 13- outliving the doctors expectations by about 6 weeks. 6 Precious weeks.

While Joanne certainly wasn't old, she was so sick and so weak, that when I saw this picture a few days before she passed, it made me think of her and the joyful youth that would soon be headed her way once she left her earthly body-

Allyson's mom, Mrs. Rockwell has a gift. She's incredibly wise and spiritual. She stayed close with Joanne over the years, and wrote this to me about Joanne, and I wanted to preserve it for a time in the future when I may need to share it with someone to help them gain this beautiful perspective of a life taken too soon- 

Love you kiddo... and I am so in awe of Jo's strong fighting spirit. What a journey her life has been- always for her boys, her parents, and what's right and one helluva friend - a true inspiration to us all. A teacher-soul for sure. That saying only the good die young? It speaks to the souls who don't need 80 or 90 years of experience on this planet to serve humanity. They shine their light so brightly that just their being here lifts the vibration of everyone around them. I just had this vision of her laughing at that- but acknowledging the truth in it cuz she's a warrioress. I am so blessed to have had her in my life even peripherally through all of you. Matt Kahn refers to earth as the angel academy. Indeed. and some just graduate early cuz they've always been in the advanced class.

I shared this with Joanne's ex-husband George too. I thought maybe, while it won't take away the crushing pain of losing their mom at age 16 &19, he could share it with their boys and just maybe it may help in some little way.